If you’ve ever found yourself so bereft of conversation starters that you’ve speculated on who would win in a fight between Facebook King Mark Zuckerberg, and the world’s richest man Elon Musk… well, you might soon get an answer.

No, really. 

It all started with Musk responding to a tweet about Threads, Meta’s possible Twitter competitor. In it, Meta Chief Product Officer Chris Cox is quoted as saying that the team had “been hearing from creators and public figures who are interested in having a platform that is sanely run.” 

Musk replied to this with a fairly weak reply about the nightmare of Zuckerberg ruling the social media world, before someone warned the Twitter CEO that the Meta chief does ju-jitsu.

“I’m up for a cage match if he is lol”, Musk responded, remembering the importance of apostrophes, but badly neglecting the comma.

So far, so trash talky, but then Zuckerberg posted a screenshot on Instagram with the caption “Send Me Location”. 

(“The story speaks for itself,” a Meta spokesperson told anybody who asked. I… suppose?)

“Vegas Octagon”, Musk replied on Twitter, adding that he has a move called “The Walrus” where he lies on top of an opponent, doing nothing.

My Dad could beat up your Dad

So, who will win in this (probably still hypothetical) fight? Figuratively, Musk’s skin is so thin that a light breeze should make him bleed, but in the literal sense the bout is tougher to call.

Musk is older, but has talked about being in “real hardcore street fights” back in South Africa. 

Zuckerberg may be slighter, but the ju-jitsu point was real — in fact, he won a tournament in Brazil last month. 

A surprisingly detailed press release sent to me in startling time gave Total Shape’s predictions for the bout. 

“When it comes down the ideal body type and general endurance and skill for cage fighting, Mark Zuckerberg would have the upper hand,” a Total Shape spokesperson said. “With a high protein, health infused diet and demonstrative skills in mixed martial arts – he would most likely win.

“However, having a strength and longer reach can give a fighter a lead when it comes to forceful striking and making it more difficult for the opponent to strike back,” the statement continued. 

“Therefore, with Musk’s body type leaning more towards an Endomorph, due to a broader, stockier build, his extra height could give him the upper hand. If he were to make it difficult for Zuckerberg to grapple and control earlier on in the fight, he could take the upper hand.”

Hopefully the billionaires make it interesting and decide to put their companies on the line, in a winner-takes-all capacity. 

How about it, gentlemen? Elon, you could have Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp to sink! Mark, you could play with rocket ships and electric cars on company time — and most importantly, you wouldn’t need to build a Twitter clone…